TWISler Recap: City Commission Election Results

Published March 10, 2011

TWISler Recap: City Commission Election Results

The TWISler is a little bummed out today. We’re all just kinda feelin’ like poop. Mostly because we tried so hard to “rock” the vote in Tuesday’s City Commission elections, but apparently the polling stations were “a hard place” to find for the vast majority of city voters. After a month-long shock and awe-style email and Facebook GOTV bombardment, it appears the fruit of our labors didn’t even manage to eclipse our last city commission election’s piss-poor 20.79% voter turnout. With only 5,676 of our 32,019 registered voters casting a ballot for a whopping 17.73% attendance rate, it’s a telling and troubling revelation into how much we really care about the direction of our city. Speaking of direction, the number of registered city voters actually decreased by almost 1,000 since the 2009 race. That’s not the right direction, is it?

Due to our breathtaking collective apathy for civic involvement, we unfortunately watched in horror as two of our endorsed candidates, Richard Dorfman of District 1 and Diana Hamilton of District 3, fell bravely on the field of battle. Hamilton was delivered a proper ass-whoopin’ by former Sherriff’s Deputy Shannon Snyder, which you can’t really sulk and brood about too long. But Dorfman went down in the worst way possible, missing his chance at a runoff election with heavy front-runner Willie Charles Shaw by only 17 votes, drawing out only 201 supporters to Linda Holland’s 218. The Holland vs. Shaw showdown will go down on May 10, with the registration deadline falling on April 11. Now, since TWIS headquarters just happens to reside in District 1, you can probably expect good ol’ TWISler and his roving band of groupies to have a hand in shaping the results, or at least attempt to… Voter registration keg party, anyone?!

But, of course, that couldn’t be the only race out of the three that came down to a vote margin you could count on your fingers and toes. If things were that cut and dry, the TWISler couldn’t develop that high blood pressure and all those nifty heart conditions he’s been working on for so long. No, it turns out Dorfman lost by a landslide compared to how many votes we’re hoping our last man standing, District 2’s Paul Caragiulo, has claimed victory with. So, get this — as it stands right now, Caragiulo is beating Dick Clapp by 11 votes, with 1,718 (50.16%) to Clapp’s 1,707. That’s razor-thin enough to trigger an automatic machine recount, which will be conducted tomorrow. There were 13 provisional ballots cast in District 2, with at least five of them submitted by displaced residents of Dolphin Tower, raising questions at the polls because of their temporary residency outside the district. So today, they will verify those 13 ballots and add them to the totals.

OK, here’s the kicker… Ready for it? Caragiulo knows one of those provisional ballots is his, so that leaves him up 12 votes with 12 provisional ballots to count. In other words, if those last dozen ballots split evenly between the two candidates, we will be looking at a good ol’ fashioned, authentic, genuine TIE! How we would go about solving that conundrum, we dare not even speculate. You have to admit, as I’m sure every other local media source has, that this election proves more than any in recent history that every single vote is the difference between having your desired city representative or dealing with another. We congratulate Commissioner-Elect Snyder and we look forward to working with him soon. We also look forward to drilling, and hopefully nailing our now-narrowed-down-to-two District 1 candidates in the lead up to the May runoff. As for Lil’ Paulie… we’ll see what happens today and Friday. Good luck, brother!

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